Man, it sucks to be Malaysian Chinese

Jit and Freddy are two of the funniest guys I know. They also just happen to be Chinese, and one night over supper they started a mock rivalry over who was more Chinese than the other. It was hilarious. It also inspired me to write a song parody about being Malaysian Chinese called, aptly, “We’re Chinese.”

It took three to four revisions before it was judged show-worthy and it got me thinking about the funny racial situation we have here in Malaysia. We like to think we get along but to be honest, in many ways it seems just a threadbare tolerance as opposed to a true acceptance.

I do agree the Chinese in Malaysia get a bum deal in many ways. Shouldn’t the poor of all races receive assistance from the government instead of just one race? Helping one race compete with the others doesn’t mean putting the others at a serious disadvantage. I wish the government could see that. And until it does, we will lose the best and brightest from all races. I think Malaysia would be a sad country indeed if it ends up becoming a Malay-sia – devoid of the colour and contributions of other races.

So I guess this parody is my “love song” to the Chinese community. I feel you. Even if I believe it would benefit from being a little less insular at times.

We’re Chinese (sung to the tune of The Bund’s theme song, Sheung Hoi Tan)

Verse One:

We’re Chinese

Yes, Chinese

So many of us we spread like some disease

If you don’t believe, come-lah see

Our Johor pornstar who even got DVD!


Verse Two:
Chinese know how to save money

Even weddings, we charge you attendance fee

Chinese here very lucky, we have our own Money Collecting Agency

Refrain I:

Balik Cina, they always say

But my family all come from Sungai Way

Never mind, just save money

To Australia we someday fly away

Verse Three:
If you’re Chinese, come, prove to me

Do you use chopsticks…to eat your Maggi mee?

If you’re Chinese, easy to see

Your face like lobster after two or three shandy

Refrain II:

KNN, NCB, only Chinese make singing swearwords nice

MCH, CCB, so many ways to call you a sohai…

Verse IV:

Economy bad? Blame Chinese

Contracts we sapu after paying Bumi fees

Take the blame, play the game

In the end, it always ends the same

Play it safe, just save face

In the end, we’ll all just emigrate


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