by Erna Mahyuni

Making time for what ultimately sustains

(Image by chusoart via Flickr)

Yesterday was spent running errands, discovering a great place to have Nasi Padang, getting used to the notion of conference calls and letting go of a few things.
 
Today will be spent on paperwork, and refining my schedule. I’m slightly distressed that I have not allocated proper time for things like spiritual replenishment and exercise. I am not going to gain back those kilos that took so much effort to lose! No!
 
The original plan was to make my early mornings time for reflection, to centre myself for the day. Then either Yoga or Pilates.

Reality: I roll out of my mattress. I groggily turn on my PC. Distract myself with Gmail and FB, before either the loud sounds from my ginger tom or my stomach move me to action. Cue shuffling of bedroom slippers to food bowl or kitchen. A good daily routine. Not.

 
Though I might do my best, I know I’ll need some help to change the way I’ve always done things. So God, some assistance please from this servant of yours with a lot of intention but needing more gumption?
 

Why am I such a dusty window
For your light to shine through?
Why am I just a tiny star
In a sky already blue?
Why do I offer everything
With my heart closed like a fist?
I want to love You better than this
Why do I live like I’m in chains
When You have set me free?
And why do I have to break Your heart
Before I fall to my knees?
I know it’s time to pray for change
Give all I have to give
I want to love You better than this
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me ~ Excerpt from Avalon’s Renew Me

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