Repeating your mistakes won’t make them better

Sometimes, it’s healthy to take a look back.

Nothing wrong with taking stock of what you missed out the first time; so long as you don’t attempt to live in your recollections.

Memory is a funny thing – it’ll kick in just when you least want it, failing you when you grapple for it desperately under pressure.

I realise that maybe I’m missing something. That I’m not moving forward and getting on with the rest of my life the way I should.

I’m rather sick of this, really.

The angsty blogposts.

Playing the same old songs over and over again.

Trying too hard not to think about things also has the effect of keeping them more firmly in your mind.

I should be busy living a full life, instead of being stuck on my hangups.

Shoulds. Musts.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m lugging around a sack of my favourite misgivings, heartaches and grudges. That I’m nursing them the way someone would a glass of firewater.

Is angst so addictive, that I draw on it as often as a smoker does his cancer sticks?


For Cal and Lainie: Heaven Help My Heart

Lainie loves Idina Menzel; Calvin likes the song Heaven Help My Heart from the musical Chess. Combine them both and you get this neat YouTube video of Idina singing at the Royal Albert Hall.

Maybe it’s best to love a stranger
But that’s what I’ve done, heaven help my heart

Pretty much sums up my feelings right now. I think I’ll find solace by singing this to myself.

Flickr is sexy now

DflickrI admit to taking a long time to warm up to Flickr. It just never appealed to me much, especially with the problems it used to face when bogged down by too many users.

Then I found the DestroyFlickr Adobe Air app on ‘Destroy’ here meaning ‘deconstruct’ as opposed to ‘obliterate’.

DestroyFlickr is a beautiful piece of work, that adds a fluidity missing from the original Flickr. Yes, the Flickr Upload app works just as well, but it’s not this sexy!

Highly recommended, and I’m hoping for the day twhirl is available for my Nokia N82.

We really do have it so much better

"I’m 27 years old. I’ve no money and no prospects. I’m already a burden to my parents, and I’m frightened."

Those lines from the Pride and Prejudice movie just break my heart.

Yes, a lot of us single women moan about not having set up house by now. Of having to sift through piles of dating rejects, fending off married men, and dealing with nosy busybodies.

But if we can feed ourselves, take care of our own wellbeing and of our families with our own effort, and by the grace of God, we have it so good already.

I don’t have much but I won’t go hungry. And I can do my bit so my family doesn’t, either. Women before our time didn’t have that luxury. A woman without a man had no social standing, found it hard to find a livelihood and was pitied or reviled.

And yes, I’ve scared off men who find me intimidating or whose egos find my accomplishments off-putting. But my mother taught me early on – don’t depend on a man to be your sole provider. Always, always know how to take care of yourself.

It’s wonderful to be loved. And lovely to be with someone who loves you the way you need to be loved.

But settling for a liar, a sneak, a wife-beater…anything less than a man with the capacity for good or kindness, just so you won’t be alone, is never worth it. In this day, in this age, we women should feel blessed that we have the luxury of choosing.

Insomniac in Hong Kong

The Wi-Fi is wonky. I am mopey. All over a Twitter that reminded me of someone I’d rather forget. It’s hard to do that when everything reminds you of days past. I remember a wet and windy screening of POTC. I remember waking up early to claim HP book 5. Your ridiculous duck fuzz hair. That damn coffee you like. How you never say my name and your misuse of the word ‘Yo’. Guess I need to go make new memories with new people. But you left such a big gap, it’s like the void overshadows everything. And I want to be over this. Really. But I’ve got a You-shaped hole where you were. And I don’t know if it will ever go away.

Hong Kong Suey

It’s my second day here in Hong Kong, but I only managed to get Wi-Fi today, folks.

But we have chronicles! From day 1!

Chapter 1 of the Dim Sum adventures (dim sum not included)

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Because the gods decided that we had some serious karma or yuan fen together, I ended up with Suan in Hong Kong. She won a trip and I get to freeload! Muahahaha. Though secretly I wondered if I should make offerings beforehand to ensure she didn’t kill me before we arrived home.


In her infinite wisdom, Suan decreed I should stay over the night before we were due to fly. The cab, after all, was going to come get us at 6am. Said cab ended up arriving at 5.45am and neither of us had gotten any sleep. Suan spent half the night packing and I was fending off vicious mosquitoes in the guest room.


So we arrived at KLIA roughly around 6.20am – Suan was surprisingly chipper while I was bleary-eyed and craving a Mushroom Swiss at BK. Suan bravely resisted the call of Starbucks and she ended up breakfasting on croissants and coffee – after I dug into my burger, of course.


The flight left promptly at 9am, with us bagging nice seats next to the wing which  meant plenty of leg room. Huzzah! The 4-hour flight proved a little more eventful than we liked – a lot of turbulence on the way, ending up in a delayed landing at 1.20pm.


Since Suan had done all the research, I was mostly the faithful, yet ignorant, sidekick. She recommended that we get the Octopus Travel card which came with one free airport transfer and unlimited travel on the MRT over a 3-day period. Only HK220, with a redeemable value of HK50.


The Airport Express is a lot like KLIA Express, but the seats are wedged much closer together. What I like is that you get the choice of 3 stops – as compared to KLIA’s sole stopover at KL Sentral. We got off at Kowloon City, which also happens to be linked to a swanky mall. Suan finally gave in to her Starbucks fixation. Honestly, Hong Kong does a better job at Starbucks than we do – the sandwiches are totally delectable-looking but Suanie isn’t enamoured with their lattes. "Too much milk…too little coffee."


We bravely attempted to get to our hotel by foot but ended up taking a cab. It was starting to rain, not to mention the choppy wind made Suan declare she was getting a jacket.

What happened next?

Tune in tomorrow. Me and Suan are going to the promenade! At 10.01pm!

Part 2, where Erna has not gotten herself killed. Yet.

Part the Second of Day the First (still without dim sum)

So I left it where me and Suan arrived, slightly soggy, at our hotel.

BI International, for all our expectations, turned out very decent. The staff was courteous and attentive, the room spartan yet comfortable and it was not that far a walk to the nearest MRT. After dumping our bags, we then proceeded to explore the city.

Suan decided Nathan Road was a good place to head towards and head for the road we did. It was windy, rainy and yet, pretty crowded. As Suan said, Hong Kong can make you pretty claustrophobic if you let it. People line the roads, day in, day out, crowds and crowds of them all the time. Still, it’s a very pedestrian-friendly place with easy access to MRT stations, convenient walkways. Just watch out for the eye-poking umbrellas. Hong Kong people love their umbrellas – go down Ladies Market and look for the umbrella vendors. Big one, small ones, one with handles, ones that lie flat, lacy ones, transparent one, polka dots and Winnie the Pooh-ones…

After all that walking, we didn’t end up buying much. I got a soft silicon case for my mobile phone but not much else. Then we went back to the hotel where I fell asleep to dream of dim sum. Perhaps tomorrow? Alas, that was not to be. We found other delights to make our day. But that’s a tale for later.

Not-quite mobile warrior

(fyi, am testing mobile Typepad app)The best laid plans often go awry. My online comparison is hampered by the suckiness of my home and work Net. Moving somewhere where broadband isn’t barely faster than dialup certainly appeals. My eee PC is also having WEP issues. Have tried to come up with scheme to help poor with tech but sad state of broadband and corruption are obstacles. Need more faith.

Obsessive Application-itis

So I have a new Symbian phone.

Cue obsessively buying accessories/Googling applications for my N82. I suppose my sold-off Nikon D40 was the equivalent of a neglected stepchild in comparison – all I got for it was a Lowepro Nova 1 AW bag. Even the unnamed N95 got an SU-8W keyboard, 3 different cases and a new screen protector. My iPod has 3 cases, a screen protector and much silly cooing over it.

So what did I install on the N82?

An Angelina Jolie wallpaper (stop groaning, Suan)

Opera Mini
Internet Radio Player
Share Online 3.0
Nokia Maps 2.0

And to properly establish my geek cred (or prove that I’m a dork)…

my ringtone is the Tavern theme from World of Warcraft.