Once upon a time, I was a very bored Malaysiakini sub watching the Budget presentation in 2009. So I started Tweeting about the budget, partly for my own amusement and partly to explain it in layman’s terms.
Because, really, Budget sittings are very, very boring. This is my third year Tweeting about the budget: come on and join in the fun!
17.46
OK, free HPV vaccine is something to be happy about. #LOLBudget12
17.42
Oi, can we stop zooming in on Shahrizat’s face can or not. A short pan, can. Long focus is annoying. #LOLBudget12
17.32
We are going to reward bloated, inefficient civil service. Such genius! Forward thinking! #LOLBudget12
17.31
So, let’s wipe out our EPF savings to buy the house we’ll work to 60 to pay for! #LOLBudget12
17.30
Norway can afford welfare state – high income, low corruption, high taxes. Great education. But us? HAIH.
17.25
Couples can now apply for up to RM400k laons under First Home scheme. Singles, you’re out of luck.
17.24
More 1Malaysia kedai runcits. O yay. Now there’s even a Menu Rakyat 1 Malaysia. And I bet bacon’s not on it. 
#LOLBudget12
17.23
All these sweeteners come with a clause: “You don’t vote for us, you don’t get them.” #LOLBudget12
17.22
Subsidies are still in effect and govt saying it’s keeping them for us. Who says they won’t be whittled down later? #LOLBudget12
17.18
Summary – govt is giving tax breaks to hoteliers, MNCs, private schools. And who’s paying for it? We are. #LOLBudget12
17.17
Have tiered education. The poor get assistance, exemptions from fees. The ones who can pay, pay. #LOLBudget12
17.16
I don’t know whether #LOLBudget12 should actually be #BribeBudget12
17.15
OK, pretty much budget is full of sweeteners to get biggest vote block in – civil servants, felda. #LOLBudget12
17.13
I would like to remind PM – Gates & Jobs were college dropouts…but had good public school education. #LOLBudget12
17.12
No offence but we need more master and PhD holders in govt like I need another arm. #LOLBudget12
17.11
So instead of giving money to our kids to do tertiary, we’re giving it to civil servants. Oh, well done. #LOLBudget12
17.08
Retirement age increased to 60 for civil servants. Poor blokes. #LOLBudget12
17.05
Civil servants, as usual, given enough sweeteners to give them diabetes #LOLBudget12
17.04
At least the #LOLBudget12 is free of epic silliness like mentions of perfume, underwear and ANOTHER TOWER.
16.58
All the tax cuts, all the rosy predictions. Where is the money coming from to fund all these corridors? #LOLBudget12
16.56
Wow, it took 50 years for govt to look into improving East Malaysia’s water supply? #LOLBudget12
16.53
Parents would be willing to pay a bit more for better teachers than have free, crap education #LOLBudget12
16.51
I’d rather govt charge parents who can pay and have money go into improving our education #LOLBudget12
16.49
All govt primary and secondary schools are now completely free – no fees charged for incidentals including extracurricular #LOLBudget12
16.47
Eh, what’s so special about giving schools money. Don’t they give them anyhow each year? #LOLBudget12
16.47
More money thrown at schools. All schools. Fix the education system first, can? Our English syllabus is geared towards 3-year olds. #LOLBudget12
16.45
Best way to kill innovation: have an official Innovation Agency. Oi-lah, Malaysia. #LOLBudget12
16.44
World Innovation Forum & Asia Business Angel Forum. Sigh. Better not be big, expensive wastes of money. #LOLBudget12
16.43
And using market validation to certify a product’s desirability? Err. #LOLBudget12
16.42
National Innovation Movement. I facepalm. You can’t have innovation without freedom of expression or thought. #LOLBudget12
16.40
Oh boy innovation speech coming. #LOLBudget12
16.39
A lot of tax cutting here – even for 4-5 star hoteliers. Now I really wonder where money’s gonna come in. #LOLBudget12
16.37
25mil foreign tourists last year. Langkawi being redeveloped. Don’t raise our sin taxes please #LOLBudget12
16.36
RM10mil emergency fund for small-time business peoples. OK, sound idea.#LOLBudget12
16.35
Failing once isn’t failing forever, says glorious leader. Half expect him to sing “Jika kau fikirkan kau boleh.” #LOLBudget12
16.32
Felda settlers getting sweeteners. Hmm hmm. No surprises #LOLBudget12
16.30
Pak Lah looks wide awake. Good job! Can’t say the same about some blokes behind him. #LOLBudget12
16.29
Malaysia largest Islamic bonds issuer. Expect more Islamic banking products coming your way soon! #LOLBudget12
16.29
MNC perks: income tax exemptions, duties exemptions. Will they bite? Hmm #LOLBUdget12
16.26
What the heck is with all the corridors. North, Sabah, Sarawak… #LOLBudget12
16.24
Liberalisation in medical, law among other sectors. More foreign ownership. Good news, bad news? #LOLBudget12
16.23
Whoa almost 58 percent contribution by services sector. Govt claims to liberalise more sectors. #LOLBudget12
16.21
Another stimulus package. Schools, hospitals, infrastructure. Open tenders, PM? #LOLBudget12
16.20
29.8 bil for economy, 13.6 social. Hmm. and oh, 1.2 bil just-in-case. #LOLBudget12
16.18
All rosy predictions so far. Ooh RM232.8 billion allocated for spending. Now where is it gonna come from? #LOLBudget12
16.16
We have a plan to improve local economy and investments! Predicting moar of it next year. Err, OK. #LOLBudget12
16.15
5-5.5 percent growth predicted says our noble leader. Revised down a little from last year’s. #LOLBudget12
16.14
Most optimistic PM predicts private sector to contribute muchly to 2012 budget. #LOLBudget12
16.12
Oh yay pretty slides to accompany mention of North Economic Corridor. Tenkiu TV3 #LOLBudget12
16.11
OK “Negara maju berpendapatan tinggi” rhetoric is back. Internet still sucks, dear PM #LOLBudget12
16.09
Summary of speech so far : “We care about the little guy, really! We feel your pain!” #LOLBudget12
16.07
Instead of “pendapatan tinggi” we’re going for “pendapatan sederhana tinggi”. Eh? #LOLBudget12
16.04
I hope the PM hired a new speechwriter. His last one sucked. Seriously. #LOLBudget12
16.03
Long-winded #LOLBudget12 theme summarised: “We want your votes.” You’re welcome.
16.01
Wahai TV3 talking heads, can we get back to watching hensem MPs in baju Melayu? Kthksbai #LOLBudget12
15.57
Dashinglah our PM today. Red, matching the DPM. Is that the colour of our budget this year? #LOLBudget12
15.53
The #LOLBudget12 drinking game: drink when an MP nods off. Chug if camera pans to Rosmah.
15.51
I wonder if cameramen this year have been told NOT to pan to Rosmah if PM mentions shopping #LOLBudget12
15.49
I see Hisham! And Nazri! Kit Siang in the house! #LOLBudget12
15.48
As usual half the analysts will be proven wrong once budget is tabled. #LOLBudget12
15.45
OK flipping through channels. Men in suits, men in suits blablabla snore #LOLBudget12
@ernamh if analysts have magic crystal balls, they’d keep their readings to themselves, thats fr sure
@ernamh what if it were men in swinsuits??:-)
@ernamh Red cause its all funded by debts our future generations have to pay. #LOLBudget12
@ernamh What’s interesting in this budget?
THIS!
@RT @ernamh I hope the PM hired a new speechwriter. His last one sucked. Seriously. #LOLBudget12
@ernamh I sense some rage. Is it the weather?
@ernamh Is it ON AIR now?
@ernamh penang Central still totally off centre. One pile also not driven.
@ernamh umno stimulation packages?
@ernamh heard that no sin tax increase this yr
@ernamh the sukuks laa. we Islamic financial center what.
@ernamh you get what you pay. and in this case, you get nothing.
@ernamh assuming they have money in the first place to send the kids to school, Mothership.
@ernamh maybe the are cutting down on their corruption fees too? #LOLBudget12
@ernamh i’m surprised there isn’t a joke about finding spare change in Birkin bags yet.
@ernamh lol, not another tower haha! #LOLBudget12
@ernamh and some say Sabah
@ernamh wait so nothing for middle income earners? The rich get richer and the middle class gets poorer ka? #LOLbudget2012
@ernamh u think civil servants can easily be bribed? Tq Najib!
#LOLBudget12
@ernamh And where else will our vote go? I tried the other party last time round, not so good…
@ernamh married couples lah?
only for couples. Oh wells RT @ernamh Couples can now apply for up to RM400k laons under First Home scheme. Singles, you’re out of luck.
@ernamh @brianlian #LOLBudget12 only these two dropouts among the millions around the world who were lucky! The rest ended with poor jobs!
@ernamh bunyi macam HDB jer…
@ernamh funny lah u
@ernamh this bloated n efficient civil service has provided the services that have made the country what it is today!
#LOLBudget12
@ernamh Comparing us to Norway? Come on lah, we have different histories and conditions.
[...] LOLBudget came about because I thought some brevity was needed. The national budget tabling in Malaysia is taken so seriously and is often so predictable, that it was laughable. And I wanted some laughter because, by God, we need humour more than ever. Else we’d likely go mad in this current climate. [...]