Man, it sucks to be Malaysian Chinese

Jit and Freddy are two of the funniest guys I know. They also just happen to be Chinese, and one night over supper they started a mock rivalry over who was more Chinese than the other. It was hilarious. It also inspired me to write a song parody about being Malaysian Chinese called, aptly, “We’re Chinese.”

It took three to four revisions before it was judged show-worthy and it got me thinking about the funny racial situation we have here in Malaysia. We like to think we get along but to be honest, in many ways it seems just a threadbare tolerance as opposed to a true acceptance.

I do agree the Chinese in Malaysia get a bum deal in many ways. Shouldn’t the poor of all races receive assistance from the government instead of just one race? Helping one race compete with the others doesn’t mean putting the others at a serious disadvantage. I wish the government could see that. And until it does, we will lose the best and brightest from all races. I think Malaysia would be a sad country indeed if it ends up becoming a Malay-sia – devoid of the colour and contributions of other races.

So I guess this parody is my “love song” to the Chinese community. I feel you. Even if I believe it would benefit from being a little less insular at times.

We’re Chinese (sung to the tune of The Bund’s theme song, Sheung Hoi Tan)

Verse One:

We’re Chinese

Yes, Chinese

So many of us we spread like some disease

If you don’t believe, come-lah see

Our Johor pornstar who even got DVD!

 

Verse Two:
Chinese know how to save money

Even weddings, we charge you attendance fee

Chinese here very lucky, we have our own Money Collecting Agency

Refrain I:

Balik Cina, they always say

But my family all come from Sungai Way

Never mind, just save money

To Australia we someday fly away

Verse Three:
If you’re Chinese, come, prove to me

Do you use chopsticks…to eat your Maggi mee?

If you’re Chinese, easy to see

Your face like lobster after two or three shandy

Refrain II:

KNN, NCB, only Chinese make singing swearwords nice

MCH, CCB, so many ways to call you a sohai…

Verse IV:

Economy bad? Blame Chinese

Contracts we sapu after paying Bumi fees

Take the blame, play the game

In the end, it always ends the same

Play it safe, just save face

In the end, we’ll all just emigrate

 

4 Comments


  1. ·

    This song is so spot on, it had me in stitches. Well done! =)

    Admittedly, the Malaysian Chinese are a big part of the reason why the country is in dire straits today — they play their roles as ‘enablers’ and ‘facilitators’ a little too well. Why, they ‘enable’ and ‘facilitate’ corruption, even as they hoard up their wealth and prepare to emigrate elsewhere.

    I’ve seen it again and again, and I don’t think the black comedy is going to end anytime soon.

    Reply
  2. Mursyid
    ·

    Salam

    Nice entry.

    I agree that sometime we might feel that we “get along” well, but in reality, those kindness and warmness are just acting.

    But, having said that, I do believe that there are still pure acceptance, but not many, and there’s still some of us who do have a pure friendship with other races, for example in Kelantan, thanks to what Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz did for non-malay communities in Kelantan.

    Malays and Chinese become what they are now because of racial, gunter Politics embraced by UMNO. The problems with Malays, (even PAS or PKR supporters), they are so insecure, esp when it comes to Scholarships, they think that if equal rights are established, Malay students can never compete with other races. That’s why Malays are who they are right now.

    I hope someday that pure racial unity can be established in Malaysia, Ensha-ALLAH.

    btw Erna, do you have any info about an NGO called ISMA?

    Reply
  3. Kakaroct
    ·

    Man, you can’t blame to all Malay ppl of what had been. Those BN make all of us in this multiracial country, became estranged. Plus more, you Chinese can balik China, Hongkong, Taiwan and etc..etc. We Malay ppl nak balik mana? Indonesia?? No-no.. So that’s why This land is called Kepulauan Nusantara. And it also covers the entire archipelago. That is include Cambodia, Papua New Guinea, etc.etc.. Please forgive me for the terkasar bahasa. Apa yg dah jadi sekarang, bangsa adalah merupakan perkara yang tidak penting. Saya mengambil dari sepotong ayat Al-Quran, Sesungguhnya orang yang paling mulia di antara kamu di sisi Allah ialah orang yang paling bertaqwa di antara kamu. (QS. Al-Hujuraat: 13). Peace no war.

    Reply
  4. What?
    ·

    “you Chinese can balik China, Hongkong, Taiwan and etc..etc.” wow wow racial gila.

    Can you please just balik indonesia? 🙂

    Reply

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